Journey to a new start
by ennalou
Summary: He let her walk away thinking that she would come back to him but she never did. He'd do anything and everything just to find her so he can start living again.


DISCLAIMER: Rorouni Kenshin is property of Nobohiro Watsuki, Jump Comics and Sony.

Title 'Dreaming with a broken heart' is from the song of the same title by John Mayer.

* * *

**Dreaming with a broken heart…**

He woke up in his office. He didn't even remember falling asleep; the last thing he remembered was finishing his bottle of brandy. That was all he did, all he could think of doing but drinking himself into oblivion since coming home to this wretched house he owned.

It had been months ever since he heard her voice calling him softly. He kept dreaming that she would come into his office door and quietly asked him to go to sleep. She would smile that sweet smile of hers and offer her hand for him to hold. Then again, he would wake up from his dream and she would vanish into thin air, his door empty.

How he ended up in this miserable, hell-hole he called life was something he would regret for the rest of his life. He already had her in his grasp; and all he needed to do was reach. Instead, he let her free. He ignored her presence, pretended she didn't exist.

He couldn't find her. He had used everything within his power to find her but to no avail. Everyday, he would expect news from his investigators for any sign of her. Everyday he would drive himself mad waiting and waiting and worrying that she was harmed somewhere or worse dead.

He slowly got up from his chair to change in his room and start another day to work, another day trying to live this life.

"Good morning, my lord," a maid said as she curtsied to him. Another servant working greeted him as he went up the staircase.

He heard nothing of their greeting. He just went straight to his room to wash and to change into new clothes. Then he would go back to his office to work himself into exhaustion but when work didn't tire him out, which often happened, he would drink until he couldn't think anymore. This was his routine he had to do or he'd go crazy thinking of her.

Before going out of his room, he went to an adjoining door and whispered the words he should have said months ago.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry." He leaned his forehead on the door. "Come back please. I need you, Kaoru."

* * *

**How he met her…**

Kaoru was just visiting her friend when Kenshin first laid eyes on her. He had just finished his meeting with Aoshi when he heard her laughter. It was different for lack of a better word to describe, unlike the practiced laughter of well-bred women in his society.

"Misao," Aoshi called his wife.

Misao finally noticed her husband and went to him. Behind her was the woman whom the infectious laughter belonged to. She had gorgeous long hair tied on a high ponytail but what caught his attention were her blue eyes.

_He could get lost in those eyes_. Kenshin thought. He silently laughed when realized what he just thought of._ I needed to relax if a mere woman could make him think like that._

"Is there something funny Lord Himura?" Kenshin heard Misao asked him.

He shook his head and bid them goodbye; totally ignoring the woman with the deep, innocent blue eyes.

They saw each other again a week after. Kenshin was invited to a party hosted by a very good friend of him, the Earl of Sekihotai.

Kaoru was being escorted by a young man whose eyes couldn't get off his beautiful companion's face. She was wearing a simple blue silk gown to match the color of her eyes. It was a gown she borrowed from Misao since she didn't have any beautiful gowns to wear to a party.

Misao and Aoshi were acting as her chaperone for the night. Kaoru had become one of the most popular guests that night. Men sought Misao and Aoshi to ask her for a dance. Misao had her hands full of men vying to know her beautiful, young guest.

Kenshin was standing in one of the corners, leaning on a pillar while watching the ruckus across the ballroom.

"I see you're not joining the club again," Sanosuke said to his red-headed friend. He joined Kenshin in his pillar and watched the group of gentlemen trying to talk to Aoshi and Misao about their guest.

"Aoshi looks like he wanted to kick everyone out of his way," Sano commented. "Anymore of this and Aoshi would snap and kill those eager men."

The topic of their conversation currently was thinking of the best way to get out this party and drag his wife and their guest back home.

He didn't want to attend this party thrown by Sanosuke Sagara but his wife insisted they attend to introduce Kaoru to their acquaintances and friends.

Kaoru didn't want to attend this party either because of several reasons. First, she had no plans of staying long with Misao and her husband. Second, she had just broken an engagement and she didn't want to complicate her life again. Third, she didn't have gowns acceptable by Misao's social circle. Lastly, she didn't have money to support this type of lifestyle.

Plus, Kaoru found most people very superficial. Most of the men trying to know her only wanted to get into Aoshi's circle. From what she had heard so far, Aoshi was part of the societies richest. His other friend whom she saw a week ago was also part of this group, so is the person throwing this party.

"Kaoru," She heard Misao call her name. She turned to her with tired smile.

"Misao, aren't we going home yet?" she asked her good friend.

Misao and Kaoru had known each other since they were little kids. They grew up together and were only separated when Misao's parents died and she had to live with her rich grandfather who doted on her ever since Misao was a kid.

Kaoru was left in their little village. Her father, her only living parent, died when she was 16. She was left under the care of an old physician who took her as his own granddaughter. She grew into a very beautiful and independent young woman.

She was engage to one of the village boys whom she thought she loved. But when she found out that this boy was having another affair with a girl from another village, she decided to break the engagement. This bold move outraged the elderly villagers and had somewhat made Kaoru an outcast for being so bold.

The constant criticism and malicious comments of her neighbors made Kaoru decide to leave the village. She wrote Misao a letter to ask to live with her for a few weeks before finding a job and settling as far away from her old village as possible.

Misao gladly accepted her request, and the rest as they told was history.

"Don't tell me you're already tired?" Misao asked her somewhat surprised.

"Not really," she hesitantly answered. "It's just that these people keep staring at me and they keep trying to tell of this gossip they thought I needed to know. It's quite tiring actually to listen to gossips with different versions."

Misao laughed at her friend's observation of the people. Kaoru was actually right. Listening to people's endless gossip was tiresome. "You can go at the garden to cool off."

Kaoru nodded and made a beeline to one of the doors leading to the garden.

Kaoru saw a canopy and decided to rest there for a while. She didn't see the man who was resting there as well.

Kenshin opened his eyes when he felt someone approaching his secret hideout. He was surprised when he saw Misao's guest slumping on one of the stone chairs uncaring of the crease it would cause to her gown.

He watched her closed her eyes and rest her head. He was fascinated by her smooth cheeks, her long eyelashes and her lips slightly pouting.

"Why are you here? Aren't you suppose to be inside enjoying the attention those men are showering you?" Kenshin mocked her.

"Well, excuse me Sir if I somewhat disturbed your forced solitude in here," Kaoru retorted angrily.

Kaoru was just about to walk out when she heard him laughing. "What happens to be funny sir?"

"You are funny," he told her. Her glare would have made other men sputter apologies for offending a fair lady but not Kenshin. Her obvious irritation had made him laugh at her all the more.

Kaoru stomped her feet and tried to walk out before she did something she'd probably regret a little. "I'll go now and the next time we see again, if there is a next time, I'd make sure to bring more amusing stories for your enjoyment."

"I didn't know you are this sensitive miss." He held her hand to stop her from walking away. "I apologize for offending you."

"You take your apology and shove it up tha…t arrogant head of yours," Kaoru's temper finally exploded.

She could still him laughing at her as she walked back to the ballroom.

Kenshin couldn't help but still chuckle everytime he remembered last night's encounter with the young miss.

"What gotten you into a good mood?" Sano asked his friend.

"Nothing much," he replied while sipping his tea. "I just remembered last night."

"Something happened I should know about."

"Nothing of importance Sano." Kenshin stood up and bid his good friend goodbye.

Kaoru was sitting in one of the drawing rooms still fuming while telling Misao of her experience last night with Aoshi's red headed friend.

"Misao I thought you were my friend," Kaoru whined to her friend." You are supposed to be on my side and getting angry as well, not laughing at it."

Misao was dubbing a tear in her eyes when she said, "Sorry Kaoru. It's just that everything you told me was really funny. I can't believe you said that to Lord Himura."

"Misao…"

She was about to say more when a maid interrupted their conversation. "Excuse me my lady," the maid curtsied as she informed them of their guests.

"The Duke of Hiten is here to see Miss Kaoru."

Misao was giggling when she asked the maid to bring the guest in.

"Who's this Duke of Hiten?" Kaoru asked her friend, "I don't remember meeting a duke last night."

"I can't believe you've already forgotten me Miss," replied their guest standing behind Kaoru.

"It's you!" Kaoru whirled around, surprised to see that the man who mocked her last night was the same Duke giving her a visit today.

Kenshin bowed to Misao as he greeted her good day. "It's nice to see you again Misao."

"It's nice to see you too Kenshin." Misao curtsied to her guest. "I'll leave you two alone here."

"Hey Misao, do not leave me alone with this arrogant man."

"Relax Miss, I won't bite."

"I am not sick and I don't need you to call on me. You may leave now."

"I sincerely apologize for everything I said or did last night that had offended you," Kenshin told her.

The sincerity in his voice stopped Kaoru from her tracks. She looked at him and searched his face if he was mocking her again.

She nodded her forgiveness.

He smiled at her and introduced himself. "I'm Kenshin Himura. I'm glad to finally meet you, Miss?"

"Kaoru Kamiya," she told him. "I'm glad to meet you as well."

This meeting started their friendship that eventually led to their courtship and eventual engagement.

* * *

**When it started to fall apart…**

The announcement of their engagement didn't come as a surprise to their friends. Sano has been actually hinting it for a while now but Kaoru paid no heed to it.

"Congratulations Kenshin!" Sano made a toast for his friend. "You finally found your match with Kaoru."

Kaoru blushed at the comment Sano made. She looked at Kenshin who took hold of her hand and kissed her knuckle. "Yeah I am," Kenshin agreed which made Kaoru blushed the more.

Kenshin leaned into her ear and whispered, "I love it when you blush."

"Hey hey you two," Sano shouted across the table. "Save that for your honeymoon."

This comment brought peals of laughter to everyone who celebrated Kenshin and Kaoru's engagement over dinner.

After dinner, Kenshin brought Kaoru back home to Oniwanban Estate. His carriage was trailing behind Aoshi and Misao's carriage.

Kaoru was sitting on his lap basking in the warmth Kenshin was offering her. "Kenshin?"

"Hmm," Kenshin replied as he kissed the top of head.

"Do we really have to put into papers our engagement? Can we not just tell it to our good friends?"

"Kaoru I am a Duke. Things as important as this are usually announced to the society," he softly explained to her. "Don't worry it'll be fine."

"But the moment you announce it to the society, everyone will be intrigued and they would probably do everything they can to see me." Kaoru shifted closer to Kenshin. "Then I wouldn't be able to act so freely to avoid embarrassing you."

Kenshin hugged her closer to him. "You will not embarrass me Kaoru. I am sure of it. I love everything about you. Remember that," He said as he kissed her lips softly.

"I love you too Kenshin," Kaoru sweetly replied. "More than you probably know," she softly added.

Just a few days before their wedding, an unexpected visitor called on Kenshin.

"Your grace," Kenshin looked up from the papers he was reading, "there was a man who wanted to see you. He said he has something important to tell you about Miss Kamiya."

"Really?" He was surprised to know that old friends of Kaoru are here to see him._ "I'll just surprise Kaoru about this." _He said to himself. "You send him in."

His visitor was a young man with a smirk that he wanted to get rid off.

"What do you want?" His voice was curt when he asked him.

"I see you are eager to get rid of me then," the man replied. 'I'll go straight to the point then."

He took a seat in front of Kenshin's table and told him the purpose of his visit. "I thought I should warn you of Kaoru."

"Warn me?"

"Yes."

Kenshin remained quiet and urged his visitor to continue.

"The Kaoru you know is a great actress meant to deceive and seduce men to get what she wanted." He leaned on his chair. "She was once engaged to me as well. Let's just say that we reached a certain level where we were so sure of our marriage," he stopped for a while to see a reaction from him, when he saw nothing he continued. "Then she found out that I didn't have enough money to sustain her financially so she broke our engagement. "

He stood up behind his chair. "I remember myself begging her to stay. She just walked away and told me that she would find someone better then me."

Kenshin had remained quiet while his visitor was telling of his story. He didn't know whether to believe this person or not. He would ask Kaoru about this engagement and only then would he decide whom to believe.

"She kept telling everyone that I betrayed her with another woman; but that is not true. How could I when I have loved her ever since laying my eyes on her innocent beauty."

"Is that all you want?" Kenshin finally asked his visitor.

"I really need money right now. I would not tell everyone that you have been duped by your fiancé if you give me money."

"How much?"

"10,000 pounds."

Kenshin wrote a draft and handed it over to his visitor.

The man's eyes widen when he saw the amount Kenshin wrote. "I believe that amount will also cover the expense on your transportation and the assurance of your silence."

"You don't want me angry at you if ever you open that filthy mouth of yours." He rang for his butler to show the man out of his property.

After a few minutes of trying to calm down, Kenshin went straight to Oniwaban estate to clear things with his fiancé.

Kaoru was alone in the house when the maid announced Kenshin's arrival. "Miss Kamiya, His grace, Lord Himura is here to see you."

She couldn't contain the joy she felt upon hearing of Kenshin's visit. But when she saw his face, her whole body trembled in fear and uncertainty.

"Is there something wrong Kenshin?" She hesitantly asked him.

"I had an interesting visitor this morning, Kaoru," he told her sarcastically. "He told me he was your ex- fiancé."

The surprise and guilt he saw on her face confirmed his suspicion. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I am sorry Kenshin," she started. "I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how or when to tell you. I was also afraid that when you find out I was once engaged that you wouldn't want me anymore."

She approached him and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry for lying to you Kenshin."

"Why was it called of?" He asked her instead.

"I found out that he was having an affair with another woman from another village so I decide to break it off." She softly told him.

She really didn't want to cry but Kenshin's coldness was affecting her. "Kenshin, I am sorry for not telling you of this earlier." Her tears started to spill. "I don't want to lose you because of this Kenshin. I would do anything so just you'd forgive me."

Kenshin hugged Kaoru and let her cry in his arms but the love he thought the felt for her was now slowly being replaced by doubt and anger.

* * *

**A heart can only take too much…**

Kenshin married Kaoru in spite everything that had happened. Today was the first month of their marriage. The mock marriage he blindly went into.

_Kenshin has married me but he had never treated be the same. He ignored me and pretended that I didn't exist unless it was absolutely necessary to speak to me. _

Everyday of her life Kaoru was trying to patch things up Kenshin. She was trying her hard to make Kenshin believe her and love her again.

Every night she would ask him to go to bed and rest. She would reach out to him and he would always ignore her.

The pain of it all is starting to take its toll on Kaoru. She had lost weight and had become withdrawn and quiet. Misao had started to notice and wanted Kaoru to tell her of her problems. But Kaoru did not want to involve more people in their problem. She caused this and she alone must solve it.

"Kenshin," she called out to him.

"What do you want? I'm busy and I don't need you to bother me."

"Are you going to have dinner here tonight?" Kaoru asked her husband.

"No."

"Today's the first month of our marriage," Kaoru informed him. "Can you just at least eat dinner here before you head out again?"

"What do I need to celebrate things with you? This marriage to a woman who sells her body for money."

Kaoru slapped Kenshin when she heard what he thought of her. "Is that what you think I am, Kenshin? You think I'm after your money or your title?

"So why did you marry me Kaoru? Don't tell me that you love because I don't believe you."

"Did you really believe him over me Kenshin? Didn't you trust me?" She angrily asked him. "If you believe I don't love you then why did you marry me? Why didn't you just let go of me?" She kept pounding on his chest. Trying to make him feel the pain that she was feeling right now.

"I love you Kenshin. I married you because I love you. Why can't you believe that?"

Kenshin removed Kaoru's arms around his shoulders and walked out of his office.

"Don't leave," Kaoru asked Kenshin. "If you leave and walk out of this house tonight you will never see me again. I will also leave Kenshin," she threatened him.

"Do what you want Kaoru," with that he walked out.

He knew she was gone the moment he stepped inside his house. He never tried to find her. He just waited for her to come back on her own.

Kenshin was so sure when Kaoru realized that he would not be looking for her that she would come back on her own. But hours turned into days and days had turned into weeks and Kaoru never returned.

He was starting to worry of Kaoru much against his will. Weeks after Kaoru's disappearance, Kenshin assembled investigators to look for her but after 2 weeks of searching and still no sign of Kaoru he started to panic.

Kenshin swallowed his pride and went to Misao to ask her Kaoru's whereabouts.

"I don't know where she's gone to Kenshin. I never imagined she'd be gone this long." Misao tearfully told him.

Kenshin looked intently on Misao to see if she was telling him the truth. "Thank you," he said at last. He was about to leave when Misao told him of the truth that he should have believed in the first place. "He really betrayed her Kenshin. She had always wanted to tell you of this engagement but I told her to wait for the right moment. I guess I was wrong. She should have told you before she accepted your proposal. I made a mistake in advising her that. She also made a mistake of keeping it to herself."

"The only mistake she made was marrying me," he said before leaving.

"That is not true," he stopped when he heard Misao. "Kaoru loves you."

Kenshin nodded his appreciation this time.

He went back home waiting for Kaoru. He had to find her and heal the hurt he had caused before her hurt would turn into hatred.

"I will wait for your return Kaoru," He whispered to her door willing his pleas to reach her wherever she was at this moment.

"Your grace." He heard a servant knocked on his door. "Lord Shinomori is waiting for you in your study. He said he has important news for you."

"You have news for me," he said without preamble.

"I know where to find her," Aoshi simply told him. "She's back at her old village."

"But it was the first place the investigators checked. They didn't find her there and no one reported seeing her."

"That's because she is posing as young man visiting a distant relative," Aoshi explained.

* * *

**Another chance of happiness**

Kenshin did not waste anytime going to Kaoru's old village. He traveled the whole day to reach Kaoru before the night fall. He did not take his carriage with his crest on it; instead he took with him a simple carriage to hide his identity. His most trusted butler was his companion for the whole travel.

With no food, little rest, non-stop travel and nights of worry and exhaustion Kenshin's body had taken its tool. Once his butler recognized the severe exhaustion that his master had, he immediately looked for a doctor to have Kenshin checked. Luckily, the village doctor lived 10 minutes away from the town proper.

A loud incessant knock had awakened Dr. Gensai and his young guest that night,

"Coming," informed the good doctor of his visitor. "How may I help you with tonight?"

"My master needs a doctor," the man said gesturing to a man elegantly dressed leaning on his shoulder.

"What happened to him?"

The butler sat him in the nearest chair before answering the doctor's question. "He hasn't eaten anything today yet. He had very little rest and he had been drinking a lot lately. Then he insisted we travel from the city to this village in the shortest possible time," he explained. "I think this was caused by too much working, stress and constant thinking of…" the butler trailed in his words.

"Not a problem," assured the doctor. "Take him up on one of the empty rooms upstairs and you may rest as well. My assistant and I will make sure to restore him in good health."

The butler left his master to the good doctor's capable hands and searched for an inn he and the staff could rest for the night.

Dr. Gensai examined his patient while his assistant took a basin of cool water and cloth to help cool the patient.

"He has a slight fever but nothing life threatening that needs immediate attention. He is obviously suffering from exhaustion but this could be cured by plenty of rest and plenty of food to bring back his strength."

He looked at his assistant and asked her to watch his patient for a couple more hours to see if there would be changes.

"Yes doctor," his assistant softly replied. Her concern and worry for the patient very visible in her eyes.

When Dr. Gensai stepped out of the room, his assistant slowly approached the sleeping man on the bed. A wet cloth was placed on Keshin's forehead to help ease the fever that was affecting his body.

Kenshin was tended and watched tenderly. Changes in his body temperature and color of his skin were carefully observed. As he stirred awake from wonderful dream of Kaoru caring for him. His eyes gradually opened to reveal a pair of blue eyes staring at him with so much concern.

"Kaoru," Kenshin softly called the person watching over him, his longing evident on his voice.

Kaoru fretfully watch Kenshin deeply asleep. He stirred occasionally as if wanting to wake from his dreams.

"What are you dreaming about Kenshin?" Kaoru asked him softly as she placed wet cloth on his forehead. Her fingers were running slowly on his left check as she observed any changes on his body.

Her tender ministrations helped as patient's slight fever went down and color had returned to his skin. She noticed Kenshin slowly awoke from his peaceful slumber; he gradually opened his eyes and found herself staring at his violet eyes.

"Kaoru," she heard him softly call her name.

Kenshin struggled to get up from his bed to reach Kaoru and to make sure that she was not just another dream.

"Don't get up yet," she quietly told him. "You should rest."

"You're really here. Tell me this is not a dream," Kenshin pleaded Kaoru to tell him he was not imagining things.

"Go lie down. I'll be here to watch over you." Kaoru replaced the cloth on his forehead and placed one of her hands on top of his; her fingers were stroking his knuckles in soothing circles.

As much as Kenshin wanted to stay awake, Kaoru's presence and comfort made him sleepier. He closed his eyes with the hope that when he woke up, she would still be there beside him.

Kaoru watched as sleep claimed her husband again. Kaoru took his appearance this time. His cheeks were thinner showing his lost of weight, his hair was longer than his usual length and a day's beard had grown as well.

"What have you been doing to yourself while I was away?" She asked his sleeping form.

Kaoru touched his face for the last time that night as she walked out of the room to rest in her own chambers. Tomorrow was going to be a long day for her.

* * *

**A glimpse of hope**

Kenshin woke up a little over lunch still feeling a little sluggish. He looked around the room and wondered where he was. Was this the inn his butler rented? It this was it, then his butler didn't choose a good room.

He suddenly bolted when he remembered seeing Kaoru last night. Was it just another dream to hunt him? No, it couldn't be a dream. He was sure he felt her, she was real, and she was there with him last night.

He was about to go up of his bed when the door to his room opened. He was expecting to see Kaoru enter his room to confirm that last night was real. To his dismay, the person who entered his room was an elderly gentleman wearing a white apron/coat.

"I see you are finally awake." The gentleman said as he closed the door behind him. "How are you feeling?" He asked him.

"Better," Kenshin softly answered. He was still expecting the door to open and reveal her. "I'm sorry to be rude but where am I and who are you?"

"I apologize for the slight. I am Dr. Gensai and you are resting at my house," Dr. Gensai explained. "You're butler brought you here last night. He was worried at you." He continued to explain as he clears the basin and washcloth at the bedside table.

"He was here this morning to check on your health and to inform you that he has secured a decent room for you in the only inn we have in this village. I told him to return later this afternoon."

"Do you have an assistant?" Kenshin suddenly asked ignoring the explanation of the doctor.

"Yes I do," Dr. Gensai replied. "I sent him to go to my other patients to check on them."

"Him?"

Dr. Gensai was confused by the question but decided to reply to his query. "Yes HE has been my assistant for the past 2 years," he answered his patient emphasizing on the word HE.

His patient looked crestfallen by his answer. Dr. Gensai took it as a sign to ask questions of his own to verify his suspicions.

"Are you expecting anyone in particular? You seemed to be interested in knowing my assistant?"

"I thought your assistant is someone I know. She was maybe just a dream."

"You might be referring to my grandchild. She was here last night helping me out since my assistant was not at home." Dr. Gensai looked intently on his patient's reaction when he mentioned about a grandchild that stayed with him last night.

A look of hope suddenly filled Kenshin's face when he heard the doctor mentioning about his grandchild.

"She helped out." The doctor informed Kenshin as he prepares the tea and medicine for his patient. "You should drink this first then rest. I'll send my grandchild up once she gets here."

Kenshin drank the tea and medicine the doctor gave him. "By any chance doctor, is your grandchild's name Kaoru?"

The only answer Kenshin got was the soft click of the doorknob as Dr. Gensai left the room.

The last thought that Kenshin had in mind just before the medicine kicked in was he was finally going to see Kaoru.

Kaoru was sitting in one of the chairs in the kitchen waiting for Dr. Gensai who checked on his patient upstairs.

"How is he doctor?" Kaoru asked him the moment he stepped inside the kitchen.

"He's doing better since last night. I gave him something to make him sleep some more," he told his young guest. "He looked like he needed a lot of rest."

"Did you check on the young Yahiko?" inquired the doctor.

"I did. He is looking a lot better since last yesterday, I also cleaned his wound and changes his bandage. He rather unease when I told him I'll be the one cleaning and bandaging his wound. He's still does not believe that I really helped you a lot before."

Dr. Gensai chuckled softly at hearing the slight irritation on Kaoru's voice. "He trusts you lest he would not even let you touch him. But he rather likes making a big fuss of being shy around you."

"That kid shy," Kaoru said incredulously. She shook her head denying in her head the idea of Yahiko shy around her.

There was a few moment of silence when Dr. Gensai broached a topic he knew was close to her grandchild's heart.

"He asked about you," he told his grandchild while sipping his tea. Kaoru did not respond and drank her tea quietly.

"He came here because he wanted to see you. He sent those men here to look for you; he was obviously very worried of you." Kaoru still remained quiet and seemed so intent at drinking her tea.

"You cannot hide from him forever Kaoru."

"He doesn't need me," Kaoru softly replied to her grandfather. "He is just feeling guilty at the thought that something might have happened to me. It will probably tarnish his image."

"Listen to yourself denying what your heart clearly knows," he gently scolded his grandchild. He could see right through her how much she missed him and loves the man sleeping upstairs. "You saw him last night. You…" he was about to say more when his grandchild stopped him.

"Stop," she pleaded to her grandfather. "I don't want to talk about this yet. I am not ready."

She finally looked up at her grandfather and what Dr. Gensai saw broke his heart. His Kaoru was still hurt and very confused as to what she would feel now that her husband was here.

"I don't want to talk to him, not yet anyway. I need time." She held her grandfather's hand and implored him to hide her from him for a few more days until she was ready to speak to her.

"But you will speak to him," Dr. Gensai told Kaoru before agreeing to her request but she remained quiet. "You need to settle this or you will forever think of what could've or would've happened had you spoken to him."

"Yes," she softly acquiesced.

* * *

**Hazy future**

It had been 2 days since he woke up in this house and still there was no sign of the grandchild the good doctor told him would be visiting him.

Dr. Gensai informed him that his grandchild wanted to visit a friend from across town that arrived on the same night he did. She then wrote him a note staying that she would be staying for 2 or 3 days with her friend's family.

Kenshin was disappointed when he heard of this but he couldn't demand that he see this grandchild. Hid butler who came back that afternoon didn't mention seeing Kaoru at all. He knew the purpose of this journey.

For 2 days Kenshin was ordered by the doctor to stay in bed and rest. Although he vehemently argued with the doctor, he did agree to rest because it would also give him time to collect himself and think of how he would react when he'd finally see Kaoru again. He had written all the things he wanted to say to her. He had practiced the words in his head in the 2 days he rested. He was ready.

Kenshin expectantly looked at his door when he heard footsteps approaching his room. When the door opened, it brought in Dr. Gensai and his assistant.

"My Lord." His butler greeted him sounding exciting. "Dr. Gensai said that you are now rested enough and can transfer to the room I rented so you can relax better."

"I won't leave. I have not seen your grandchild yet," he said refusing to leave the clinic.

"Why are you so interested in seeing my grandchild?" Dr. Gensai asked his patient. "Are you even sure she is the one you know?"

"No I am not," he agreed. "But I really saw Kaoru that night and I knew in my heart that I was either dreaming or hallucinating."

"Lady Kaoru is here?" the butler surprisingly asked.

No one answered the butler's question.

"Kaoru." She heard his grandfather's voice when she entered through the door in the kitchen,

"Good evening grandfather," said the young woman who was dressed as a young man in a doctor's apprentice uniform.

"He is not leaving this house until you see him. He told me strongly this afternoon.

Kaoru only nodded and quietly walked to her room to rest. Her grandfather's concerned eyes following her back until she disappears behind the security of her own room.

"You cannot deny this forever Kaoru," Dr. Gensai whispered to her retreating back.

Inside her room, Kaoru tiredly laid on her bed. She just wanted to hide in her room until Kenshin got tired of waiting and realized that what he saw that night was just a figment of his imagination.

"You are surely a stubborn man Kenshin Himura," Kaoru said to herself.

Day of reckoning 

After three days of hiding inside her room and avoiding a confrontation with him Kaoru had decided to finally deal with this chapter of her life.

On the third night of Kenshin's stay at Dr. Gensai's clinic, the one person that he'd wanted to see had finally visited him.

Kenshin did not look up when he heard the door to his room opened. He thought he was just his butler informing him that he would be going back to the inn. The sound of her voice calling him surprised him.

"Kenshin," Kaoru called him. The look on Kenshin's face brought a wave of emotions to Kaoru.

"Kaoru." She heard him whispered her name. His voice shook a little as if afraid that she would vanish out of his voice.

Kenshin had finally gotten over the initial surprise he felt when he heard her call him. He wanted to stand, to run to her and to hug her so tight never letting her go. There were so many things he wanted to say, words that he had written and practiced saying to her in his head but upon finally seeing her standing just a few feet away from him, Kenshin found himself speechless.

"I…Kaoru…I," he tried telling her what was on his heart but he just couldn't get the words out of his mouth.

"Shhh, you don't have to say anything," Kaoru finally spoke to him. "I went here because Dr. Gensai said that you would not leave until I come to see you."

"He's right," he told her. "But I just don't want to see you. I wanted to talk to you, to tell you so many things that I should have said a long time ago. I came to his village for you Kaoru."

Kaoru bowed her head but Kenshin still saw the hurt and confusion that crossed her lovely face. "You don't have to say anything Kenshin. I just came here to let you know that I am okay. I am living with my grandfather now. There is no need for you to be concern of me."

"Kaoru," he lovingly whispered her name, his longing for her evident in his voice. When Kaoru did not look up again, Kenshin walked to her and held her hand.

Kaoru was startled when he held her hand. She did not even hear him walk. "Kaoru" She heard him call her again.

Kenshin was squeezing her hand wanting her to look at him. He heard her sigh just before she looked at him.

He just wanted to stay standing there forever and get lost in her eyes. He wanted to caress her face, to run his hand on her smooth check and tuck her hair behind her ears. He wanted to embrace her so tightly and to protect her and to heal her but he couldn't; not yet anyway. He had to tell her first what was in his heart and let her decide.

"Kaoru," he began as he gently brushed her bangs off her forehead. "I have not been a very good husband to you. In fact, I was a despicable husband to my wife who deserves nothing of what I did. You deserve so much more that night. You deserve to be loved, cherish and protected. An angel like you deserves all that."

Kaoru felt his hands stroke her arms in a soothing motion as she listened to him." But I ignored to see that." She heard him say. "I chose to stay angry at you and hurt you and made you feel the hurt I was feeling."

Kenshin paused for a while to wipe a tear that fell from her wife's eye. "I was a fool to believe that you would hurt me. I was the biggest idiot in the whole world to fall to a trick a young bitter man created who wanted nothing but my money and revenge on a woman who saw him for who he was."

This time Kenshin took both her hands and held them tightly close to his heart. "I was blinded by the hurt when I heard him say that you were engaged to him and did not tell me. I thought you really betrayed me."

"I was going to tell you but I was waiting for a right time. I was afraid you're going to react the way you did." She laughed bitterly. "I was right."

"I was wrong; very wrong to believe a total stranger over the woman who had not made a mistake at all except by loving me and trusting me." Kenshin took a deep breath as he continued. "I know what I did to you is unforgivable. I will not force you now to believe me when I say I'm truly sorry for everything I did to you. I believe words are not enough to convey how truly regretful I am. I wanted," Kenshin's voice broke a little. He calmed himself first before saying what he really wanted to say.

"I wanted to show you how much I really love you but I now realize that you deserve someone better than me; someone who will not hurt you like I did." He kissed her forehead and wiped the tears that were now freely falling on her cheeks. "I will give you half of my money that belongs to you, if you want more I'll provide more to you. I know money is not enough to heal the hurt I caused you but it's the only way I can think of right now for you to start over."

"You're right," she softly told him. "I deserve so much more than that." Her voice breaking as she let him know what was on her mind and heart.

"You're doing it again Kenshin. You're deciding on you own and making decisions and conclusions without telling me or asking me. That was what you did when you married me and set me aside. You never even listened to me because in your mind you think you know everything."

Kaoru was pounding on his chest to release the frustrations and hurt she kept hidden for a long time and Kenshin was letting her do anything to him.

"Did you ever think that I need you to heal my heart? Did you ever think that I wanted to be with you so the two of us can start over and heal each other for the hurt we have inadvertently caused? All you do is blabber on how unworthy you are."

Kaoru held Kenshin's face in his hands as she made him understand what she wanted to say to him.

"Kenshin, I don't need your money. I don't need all the financial power you can give me. Money cannot keep me warm at night, it cannot hold me close and safe, it cannot love me and it cannot tell me the words of love I long to hear from my husband."

Upon hearing this, Kenshin crushed Kaoru in a tight embraces and told her all the words he kept hidden in his heart. "I love you so much Kaoru. I love you that words are not enough to express the depth of love I feel for you. I wanted to keep you with me forever and never let you go. I love you. I love you." He kept repeating to her over and over making up for the months he never uttered these words.

Kaoru didn't know whether to laugh or cry so she just did both. She was so happy that all she could do is held him tightly to her. "I love you too. I love you," she said to her husband.

After a few minutes of holding each other contently, Kenshin kissed the top of Kaoru's head and said, "Do you really want to live her with you grandfather Kaoru?"

"Why do you asked?" Kaoru confusedly asked her husband after just confessing their feeling for each other.

"Because you said when you came into this room that you live with your grandfather now and I just thought that you wanted to live here," he explained.

"And so?" Kaoru waited for him to elaborate on what he meant.

"And so if you really wanted to be here, I could buy us a house here and make it one of our country house and we can just visit our estate when the need arises."

"You don't need to buy a house at this village Kenshin; we can always stay here at my grandfather's home."

"But…"

"Husband, I want to go home with you. I want us to start a family there at your estate so that our sons and daughters will have wonderful memories to share with you. This village is not my home anymore."

Kenshin smiled at his wife's declaration. He was about to kiss her when they heard a soft knock on the door.

"Kaoru dinner is ready. Are you and your husband ready to go down?" Dr. Gensai asked them behind the closed door.

Kaoru looked at Kenshin nod his agreement before answering her grandfather. "We'll be down in a minute grandfather, Thank you"

"Now where was I?"

"I believe you were about to seal this with a kiss," she coyly reminded him

His lips touched her; all the emotions they felt were thrown into that kiss.

* * *

**Starting Over**

Kenshin and Kaoru stayed at Dr. Gensai's house for a couple more days to let Kenshin have more rest before leaving to go to Kenshin's estate.

Grandfather and child had a tearful goodbye. Kaoru promised her grandfather to visit him regularly. Dr. Gensai had also secured a promise from his grandchild's husband to never hurt her Kaoru again like he did before.

"I swear on my life doctor that I will never ever hurt her again."

"You may call me grandfather," Dr. Gensai gallantly told his new grandchild.

"Thank you grandfather." Kenshin clasped Dr. Gensai's hand as he bid him farewell.

"We're leaving now. We'll visit you always." Kenshin promised him.

"I'll expect that."

Kenshin held Kaoru in his arms at they travel back to his home. It would now become home again with Kaoru in it.

Kenshin adjusted their position to make Kaoru more comfortable in her sleep while they journey back to start over. He would protect this happiness this time.

"I love you," Kenshin whispered to his sleeping wife.

"I love you too," Kaoru mumbled in her sleep.

"Hush love. Rest,"

"We're going home and starting over."

"Yes, we're starting over."

* * *

This is the end of this story. Hope everyone likes this. 

P.S. What d'you think of the title? Not too cheesy I hope, couldn't think of a better one.


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